Christmas Vacation
Sunday, December 30th, 2007Winter break is in mid-swing, and the kids are finally healthy enough to start some full scale bonding at last. Really, I don’t even try to get anything done anymore. The kids get me up by 7am, and Will starts claiming me as his home base right away. By the time I get him down for his nap at noon, Margaret is in such Mommy withdrawal that I have to dedicate the next hour completely to her. The rest of the day is just a rush of snacks, group play, walks, dinner, baths, etc. There really isn’t any time to breathe, let alone finish the vacuuming. Jack gets a few minutes scattered here and there and has been an amazingly good sport about it. I don’t know if I’ve said it before, but Jack LOVES babies. He gets joy just watching his brother play, try out his new English words & signs, or even pass gas. Seriously. I know that Jack will be an AMAZING father someday, just like his own dad. And I wouldn’t be surprised at all if Jack grew up to be a teacher or a coach or children’s pastor. I think he has at least twice as much patience as I have when dealing with his little brother!
The great news is that Will has finally figured out that he has an awesome big sister who is trying really hard to be a big girl, even with all of the changes happening at home. I could not resist snapping pictures of the two as they started figuring each other out the other day. And Brad and I decided to chill out and let Margaret and Will take baths together. Especially now that Will has the green light from his giardia (intestinal parasites) tests. Margaret has never had a cousin or close friend to take baths with, and we banned her and Jack from bathing together so long ago, that this is as big a treat for her as it is for Will.
Attachment is coming along with baby steps. Sometimes I recognize that Will is really progressing - letting me walk into the kitchen to answer the phone, or playing outside with Brad and the kids so I can get something done. Other times I feel so frustrated to have to spend 2 hours on the bedtime routine or hold this monkey on my hip while I brush my teeth. In the moment, it’s difficult to recognize, but I know in my head that this is all part of the process. We are doing everything we can think of to help Will develop a predictable routine as well as feel safe and well cared-for. Today we did something I never thought I’d do. We used Will’s Christmas money to buy a toddler bed and crib mattress. Yes, we are moving him back into our bedroom. I just kept hearing the message run through my head — Will’s night-time fears are undermining his feelings of security throughout the day. The last few weeks, I’ve been putting him to bed in his own room, then going to sleep in my bed. When he cries during the night I just go comfort him & usually squeeze into his twin bed for the rest of the night. It’s just not working, because Will doesn’t see that my presence is reliable or consistent. Not to mention that he has NEVER slept in a room by himself, and he has only recently moved out of a crib for the first time. So hopefully by having him sleep right next to me,each of us in our own beds, we’ll both get a much better quality of sleep each night and help him develop a more secure attachment with us.
The kids had fun helping Brad put the bed together after dinner. Although, I think Daddy was close to pulling his hair out with three very, very eager helpers clamoring all over him with screwdrivers in-hand. Anyway, Will is thrilled with his new bed! It is a perfect fit for him, bear, mao, blankie, and now, tiny bear. (This child collects stuffed animals from every corner of the house and falls so deeply in love with them — oh, the sloppy kisses they get!) When the bed was finally done, Brad picked up one end, and Jack and Margaret picked up the other end, and Will sat still as a statue in the middle of his new bed as they lifted it up. It was like he was the Emperor being carried into the throne room, not to mention completely precious. It made me think of the special staircases from the Forbidden City in Beijing, with the narrow sets of stairs on each side of an ornately carved ramp. It’s exactly how the servants would have carried the Emperor into his room back in the day!
I’m looking forward to another day of Brad home tomorrow, and I’m pretty sure we’re even going to attempt church again. We’ll see how that goes . . . . And tomorrow I really am going to try and finish that vacuuming & as much laundry as possible. It’s just not funny how the laundry & dishes keep getting the best of me! I’ll post a picture of Emperor Will on his new throne/bed when I get a chance!
Addison, TX
